Secure Type
A person of the Secure love type is self-confident, empathetic, and cares about the feelings of others. Having been brought up with responsive parents and feeling safe in relying on others for comfort and care, Secures have confidence that they can be themselves and disclose their own inner thoughts and feelings to those close to them without fear of rejection—and when they are rejected by someone unfamiliar, know that they are worthwhile and not feel much hurt by others’ moods and negative feelings. Confident of their worth, they can roam the emotional world freely and assist others with their strength and empathy; lacking the fears and preoccupations of the other types, they can communicate honestly, empathize completely, and love unconditionally.
It is the ability to “see” into the feelings of others that separates the secure type most from the others. A quiet, calm confidence allows the secure person to attune themselves to others, making them better parents, partners, friends, and employees. And the ability to freely express both positive and negative feelings enhances their relationships. This is the skill called emotional intelligence.
The benefits of the secure style accumulate over a lifetime. Secure children are more liked and have more friends than others, and tend to have happier family lives. Secures find partners and friends more easily, form attachment bonds more readily, and tend to have longer and happier marriages.
In working with others, Secures use their ability to reflect on their own (and others’) inner emotional states to more effectively communicate. Their emotional intelligence lets them work in teams, understand the emotional messages sent by others and respond appropriately, both verbally and non-verbally—others understand their feelings better and have a greater sense they can be relied on. Thus, on the whole, Secures are more successful in a group work environment. Secures also have higher incomes, on average.
In dating a Secure puts her cards on the table, and will show interest if interested, or decline to go forward if not. Secure people don’t withhold or manipulate to get what they want—they tell you what they want, and offer what they have to give freely once a relationship is underway. A Secure wants you integrated into her life—she wants her friends and family to be your friends and family, if possible. A Secure does not try to keep you from knowing them, or live a compartmentalized life where you are not welcome in some settings, like work or family. When there is conflict in goals or plans, the Secure will make an effort to understand your point of view and find a compromise that satisfies you both. A Secure does not put up barriers or constantly talk of “boundaries”—if you press on him too hard, the Secure will let you know your error, but not hold it against you. A Secure can speak freely about her feelings and memories, and explain how she feels or felt so you can understand it, and she values your understanding of who she is and how she got to be that way. Secure people tend to show anger in a relationship more easily, but quickly recover their calm and don’t hold grudges—someone who is honestly angry at you for a good reason is communicating their distress in a healthy way, when a less secure type might suppress it and add to a secret store of resentments you will never be told about directly.
Roughly half of the population is secure, but since Secures are more successful at getting into and maintaining happy relationships, Secures are less and less available in older dating pools.
Link?? Click here..
A person of the Secure love type is self-confident, empathetic, and cares about the feelings of others. Having been brought up with responsive parents and feeling safe in relying on others for comfort and care, Secures have confidence that they can be themselves and disclose their own inner thoughts and feelings to those close to them without fear of rejection—and when they are rejected by someone unfamiliar, know that they are worthwhile and not feel much hurt by others’ moods and negative feelings. Confident of their worth, they can roam the emotional world freely and assist others with their strength and empathy; lacking the fears and preoccupations of the other types, they can communicate honestly, empathize completely, and love unconditionally.
It is the ability to “see” into the feelings of others that separates the secure type most from the others. A quiet, calm confidence allows the secure person to attune themselves to others, making them better parents, partners, friends, and employees. And the ability to freely express both positive and negative feelings enhances their relationships. This is the skill called emotional intelligence.
The benefits of the secure style accumulate over a lifetime. Secure children are more liked and have more friends than others, and tend to have happier family lives. Secures find partners and friends more easily, form attachment bonds more readily, and tend to have longer and happier marriages.
In working with others, Secures use their ability to reflect on their own (and others’) inner emotional states to more effectively communicate. Their emotional intelligence lets them work in teams, understand the emotional messages sent by others and respond appropriately, both verbally and non-verbally—others understand their feelings better and have a greater sense they can be relied on. Thus, on the whole, Secures are more successful in a group work environment. Secures also have higher incomes, on average.
In dating a Secure puts her cards on the table, and will show interest if interested, or decline to go forward if not. Secure people don’t withhold or manipulate to get what they want—they tell you what they want, and offer what they have to give freely once a relationship is underway. A Secure wants you integrated into her life—she wants her friends and family to be your friends and family, if possible. A Secure does not try to keep you from knowing them, or live a compartmentalized life where you are not welcome in some settings, like work or family. When there is conflict in goals or plans, the Secure will make an effort to understand your point of view and find a compromise that satisfies you both. A Secure does not put up barriers or constantly talk of “boundaries”—if you press on him too hard, the Secure will let you know your error, but not hold it against you. A Secure can speak freely about her feelings and memories, and explain how she feels or felt so you can understand it, and she values your understanding of who she is and how she got to be that way. Secure people tend to show anger in a relationship more easily, but quickly recover their calm and don’t hold grudges—someone who is honestly angry at you for a good reason is communicating their distress in a healthy way, when a less secure type might suppress it and add to a secret store of resentments you will never be told about directly.
Roughly half of the population is secure, but since Secures are more successful at getting into and maintaining happy relationships, Secures are less and less available in older dating pools.
Link?? Click here..
No comments:
Post a Comment