T_T

I need some timeout..
Allow me to breath for 1 sec..

I don't feel alive anymore lately..
Previously, used to hang out wit friends, cousins..
Now??
I hang out with either my laptop at home or pc in the office..
Work 24/7..
Non-stop..
Min, gambare!!!

To many things to do..
To many things to absorb..
To much to handle at a time..
The question is..
Can I do it??
Can I perform it successfully??

It's hard to fulfill everyone needs..
This person wants this.. That person wants that..
But, how about what I want?
Yeah2x.. Who am I to say anything.. I'm in no position to say NO right..

Everyone is leaving..
I myself thought of that for quite some time..
Shall I gave up?? Shall I choose a different path??
But the main point is, what's the best path for me??
I don't really see it now..
I can't imagine it too..

But the thing is..
Staying here is hard..
Doing something I don't like..
Can I perform well with it??
So far, not even close..
I hate every second I spend on this project..
But, like I said..
I'm in no position to say NO..

Should have took the offer..
Well, who knows things turn out this way..
She promises me I'll do what I like and do best next year..
But now, I don't think I can even smell it..
It's way to far to be reached..
Hhhmm..
Nothing can be done about it now..
No use to be regretting it..

So, what now??

1. Focus on what I have to do..
What's past is past..
I need to struggle on my future..
Because that's what matters..

2. I LOVE MY JOB.. I LOVE THIS PROJECT.. I LOVE THIS COMPANY!!!
I always say that when I wake up to go to work..
Hopefully, I will eventually like what I do now..
At least in the mean time..
Until I found the best path for me..
Not that I'm not thinking about that now..
Yeah, u can always find another workplace, but will u be able to get what u want when u get there?
Can u really guarantee that??
R u really confident that that company is way better than this one?
U can't, right..
That's the thing..
Been there myself.. Thinking working as a programmer is tough..
Now is even tougher..

GAMBARE!!!